How to Approach Difficult Conversations At Work (And The Cost of Avoiding Them)

Clear communication is a priority in a healthy organization. In fact, when we sidestep critical conversations and avoid confrontation, the organization's integrity suffers. In addition to the emotional and relational fallout, this also has negative financial consequences.

This article discusses how to engage in these conversations and the financial repercussions of avoiding them. We will also offer practical solutions to minimize the necessity for difficult conversations. These strategies emphasize fostering a culture of prompt and transparent communication.

Defining Critical Conversations

Organizational communication comes in a variety of different flavours. What separates an ordinary conversation from a difficult one? A critical conversation typically has these three distinct characteristics:

Stakes are high – The outcome matters significantly
Emotions are strong – There’s a lot at risk emotionally
Opinions differ – People involved hold opposing views

Critical conversations often feel like conflict because these elements challenge our sense of identity, security, or self-worth. They make for an uncomfortable and sometimes unpredictable interaction.

However, avoiding these discussions can lead to unresolved issues, damaged relationships, and financial losses for your organization. Let's now dive into some of those tangible financial impacts.

How to Deal With Difficult Conversations At Work

Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of professional life. However, mastering this skill can significantly enhance workplace relationships, team dynamics, and problem-solving. While these conversations might feel uncomfortable, avoiding them often leads to more significant problems down the road. Here’s how you can prepare for a difficult conversation at work:

1. Address the Issue Directly

Avoidance can escalate small misunderstandings into larger conflicts
Tackle the conversation as soon as it’s clear there’s an issue, showing your commitment to resolution
Be clear about the purpose of the discussion and focus on the behaviour or issue—not the person

2. Practice Active Listening

Pay full attention to the other person’s words without interrupting
Reflect on what they are saying to ensure you understand their perspective and emotions
Use phrases like, “I hear you saying…” to show that you’re engaged and respectful

3. Approach with Curiosity, Not Assumptions

Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask open-ended questions to understand the root cause of the issue
Show empathy and willingness to consider their point of view. For example, ask, “Can you help me understand your perspective?”

4. Work Toward a Shared Resolution

Aim to align on goals or outcomes that benefit both parties or the organization
Keep the focus on actionable steps and solutions rather than dwelling on the problem

Why It Matters

When handled effectively, difficult conversations can strengthen trust, improve collaboration, and prevent long-term issues. They also show leadership and professionalism, which are highly valued qualities in the workplace.

For more actionable advice on managing workplace conflicts, explore 4 Ways to Navigate Conflict in Communication. These strategies will help you confidently and clearly navigate even the most challenging conversations.

Financial Cost of Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Avoiding challenging conversations doesn’t just delay problems; it compounds them. Unresolved conflicts decrease productivity, lower employee engagement, and increase turnover. All these consequences come with a financial cost.

Workplace conflicts cost U.S. employers $359 billion annually in lost productivity. This amounts to about 2.8 hours of lost work per employee each week.

Additionally, 55% of employee turnover is attributed to unresolved conflicts. Replacing these employees costs companies anywhere from 150% to 200% of the departing employee's salary.

When issues fester inside organizations and go unaddressed, employees experience high-stress levels. This could also lead to stress-related health issues. Unresolved conflict is a major cause of absenteeism. This results in decreased productivity and higher healthcare costs.

Organizations can reduce these costs by fostering an environment where issues are addressed promptly. When leaders prioritize managing difficult conversations, they boost employee satisfaction and strengthen the bottom line.

Reducing the Need for Critical Conversations

There are countless ways to handle difficult conversations in leadership roles and in our everyday lives.

One way to handle critical conversations is to reduce the need for them altogether. Let's examine a few practical methods.

Self-reflection

In each critical conversation you have, it's helpful to stay conscious of your own communication style and preferences. It's also helpful to take stock of how you've handled similar interactions in the past.

Consider journaling around these three reflection questions to gain new insights:

Reflect on a time when you avoided a critical conversation. What was the outcome? How did it affect your relationships and work performance?
Think about your communication style under stress. Do you tend to avoid conflict (flight), confront aggressively (fight), freeze, or fawn? What strategies could help you manage these tendencies?
What active listening skills do you think you can improve upon to become a more effective communicator?

A commitment to self-awareness helps you learn from any mistakes made in previous tough conversations. It also enables you to understand your limits and weak spots so you can prevent them from having a negative impact.

SBI Model

Through the SBI Model (Situation-Behavior-Impact), leaders provide structured and timely employee feedback. This prevents small issues from escalating into bigger issues which leads to tough talks.

The SBI Model can be broken down into three main components:

Situation: Describe the specific situation where the behaviour occurred
Behaviour: Identify the observable behaviour that was problematic (or positive)
Impact: Explain the impact of the behaviour on the team, project, or organization

Consistent, clear, and direct feedback prevents problems from festering, ensuring issues get addressed as soon as they arise. Staying proactive with a system like the SBI Model lessens the need for high-stakes, critical conversations.

W.I.S.E Model

When providing feedback on a sensitive topic, approaching the conversation through a framework can keep things from escalating.

The W.I.S.E. model contains four key "pillars" to help all parties navigate difficult conversations:

Why? Focus on the underlying reasons for the conversation and maintain respectful intentions
Introspection: Understand your emotional responses and communication style under stress
Share: Communicate openly while maintaining a “Circle of Safety” to ensure both parties feel heard and valued
Execute: Follow through on commitments made during the conversation and ensure accountability on both sides

Fostering a culture of prompt feedback, active listening, and self-awareness starts from the ground up. Consider holding training sessions in your organization around these helpful techniques to keep them front and centre.

Unleashing the Potential of Your Organization

As we've addressed, avoiding critical conversations has massive financial impacts on an organization's bottom line. However, taking a proactive approach and cultivating a trusting, transparent workplace can reduce conflict and protect your bottom line.

To learn more about handling critical conversations in your organization, reach out to us. You can also consider attending one of our upcoming leadership events.